Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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