I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
