it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
