my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
