Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
