I accidentally burped into my bong.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
