Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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