Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
