Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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