Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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