Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
