I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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