im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
