Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
