His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
