I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
