Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
