He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
