Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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