Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
