can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
