I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
