Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
