Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
