The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
