Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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