So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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