I will die if light touches me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
50% drunk capacity currently
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
