Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
look no pants
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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