"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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