Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
