how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
