I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
