And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
