all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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