I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
"it" just moved
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
