Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
