its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
