i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
