peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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