Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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