Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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