Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Panties = found
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