I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
