you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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