oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
