I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
