Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
