The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
