I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
