Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
