the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
